For some, playing the bag pipes may be their happyland. For others, it may be watching The Price is Right. For some, it may even be learning the Byzantine tones and practicing them all the time (if you don't know what those are, feel free to ask my Hippo choir director husband).
For me, happyland is writing and getting lost in something I'm working on to the point I think, "shouldn't someone be fixing dinner about now?" Usually this is followed by, "oh darn."
The last six months I've been trying to figure out the best way to get to my happyland amidst the day to day time to incorporate writing into my already busy life. Since I've misplaced my magic soap bubble, and can't find my way to happyland that easily, I see my options are as follows:
- Write when kids are around. Only, I don't really like being interrupted every 2 minutes, or being permanently crabby. So not a great option.
- Write early in the morning. I know I could wake up 2 hrs before everyone else and work in the early hours while my homemade cinnamon buns are rising, but who wants to be perfect? While I don't want to discount this as a potential time, and Hippo Husband thinks it's the best time to accomplish things, I don't think it's where I'm at right now. Since Hippo 4 still wakes up at night 1-2 times, my brain (with its accumulated 14 months of sleep deprivation) does not respond to higher levels of thought first thing in the morning. Hopefully, this will change, but for now, not really an option.
- Write at night. Sometimes I have worked on a project after the kids get to bed. Of course, this has to be after Hippo 1 has gotten up to say he's scared a couple of times (in a very calm manner that doesn't really seem like he's scared, but more bored), and Hippo 2 has remembered she forgot to go to the bathroom. Then Hippo 3 comes out because he thinks I've forgotten to sing his song (but really he just forgot I sang it already), and Hippo 4 starts jabbering because, well, everyone else is up so why not. Not to mention the sometimes left over dishes, general deterioration to the home of any order throughout the day, and other things that need to be done. Oh, and since seeing a husband sometimes is nice too, evenings are not ideal.
- "What is left!?" (I can hear you asking with baited breath), "When will she ever manage to write?!" Ah, you have forgotten quiet time.
On a typical day, the best time I have for writing is during quiet time. Our house has operated on an understanding that there should be a quiet time in the middle of the day since Hippos 1 and 2 were too old to nap, and I quickly realized we still all needed a break. When there are babies and toddlers in the house, as with Hippo 4 currently, this is nap time. If you are old enough to not need a nap, you have quiet time. This is supposed to be a time where everyone does their own thing: read, build legos, do puzzles, etc. Supposed to be is the key phrase these days.
Ever since Hippo 3 was added into the mix, this perfectly functioning system has gone wonky. This is a boy who doesn't really know how to operate on either "quiet mode" or "play alone mode." That said, the main offender is not always Hippo 3. Sometimes the oldest, Hippo 1, who is known to wander around the living room, whistling, bugging other people, and generally being a malcontent. This is when I hear myself saying things like, "Find something quiet to do!" and "This is my time too!" I hate having to get like that, all "y'all, this is MY time," because first of all I don't say "y'all" naturally, and I don't want to treat them like they are bothering me.
But, sometimes they're bothering me.
But, before I start entertaining serious thoughts of shipping them to boarding school, it is good for me to remember the blessings about being surrounded by hippos. This is especially true as I work on writing projects that are ultimately intended for kids. I've realized some perks to being entirely surrounded by Hippos:
- Being around kids all day, everyday helps me think like a kid. It's not too hard to get into different characters for children's literature when this is my world.
- They really do say the darnedest things, and I've been known to steal a conversation or two when working on a project. For instance, Hippo 3 says "Yesternight," as in, "Yesternight we had ice cream," which I doubt I could make up on my own. And they help me come up with new words. Just the other day Hippo 3 and I had a good "snuzzle" on the couch.
- They remind me to do what you love. They don't ever think "I'll build this awesome Lego creation after I do what I'm supposed to do." The supposed to in their life is what excites them, right then. Of course, this will eventually be drained out of them as they grow older, and it needs to be tempered with duties and responsibilities. But when you're someone who can avoid doing those exciting (yet scary) things through always doing duties and responsibilities, it's helpful to have this influence around.
- It's not going to be perfect. This goes with number 3, but realizing that there will always be stuff on the floor, dishes in the sink, and graham cracker crumbs along the baseboards, I can't wait until our home (or lives) are perfect before I write. I finally realized it's never going to be perfect, or if it is, it will only be for 5 minutes, so I might as well write.
- Kids make you get outside of yourself. For years all I ever wrote was writing about writing, or bemoaning how it's hard to write, or other kinds of completely boring topics for anyone else to read. And even for me to read now. Having kids I don't have time to think too much. I don't have energy to waste deconstructing myself. So, now, I'm not writing about writing, just trying to write. Of course, except for this blog.
So, to sum it all up, if you are a writer I don't know I would recommend going out and finding 4 kids to surround yourself with all the time. But it's hard for me to see myself being a writer and making much of a success at it without them. And they are definitely part of my journey to happyland.
